Wednesday, April 28, 2021

Software Engineering Explained

CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION --> How the customer explained it: tree swing, but with 3 vertical seats where it looks more like a rope ladder. How the customerexplained it How the project lead understood it: tree swing, but with the ropes tied to opposite branches so the seat just rests against the trunk. How the project leadunderstood it How the analyst designed it: tree with a large gap where a section of the trunk is missing, with a swing in the trunk gap, and propped up with support braces. How the analystdesigned it How the programmer wrote it: tree with a swing lying on ground, the rope tied around trunk instead of branches. How the programmerwrote it What the beta tester received: empty noose hanging from a branch, where the swing should be. What the beta testerreceived How the new team applied patches: tree swing in place, but blocked off with caution tape; the tree is bandaged with duct tape, supported by props, and there is a useless extra swing lying on the ground. How the new teamapplied patches How it was documented: empty landscape, with just shadows of where the tree and swing would be overhead. How it wasdocumented When it was completed: a simple swing suspended by ropes, but the ground is snow-covered with a snowman, the tree bare of leaves. When it wascompleted What operations installed: one rope hanging from a branch, the swing seat dragging on the ground. What operationsinstalled The disaster recovery plan: a shriveled tree bent-over under the weight of the swing, which is touching the ground. The disasterrecovery plan How it performs under load: a swing with the seat broken in two, presumably from the butterfly which is hovering above it. How it performsunder load How the customer was billed: a wooden roller coaster. How the customerwas billed What Marketing advertised: a bright swing, with a luxurious red pillow on the seat; the tree is a black silhouette against a solid green background. What Marketingadvertised How it was supported: a tree stump. How it was supported What the customer really needed: a tire-swing hung from a branch. What the customerreally needed